logging in and out from blogger a few times since the past few days.
wanted to blog but couldn't seem to find the right words.

i don't have classes today.
yea, 'm sick again.
and i still went for training yesterday.
is super sian, aching all over now.
today there's training. wonder if i should go. even if i do go, i shall not run the track. yesterday was enough.

there's this girl, seriously i don't like her. just the look of her is enough of me to kick her out.
much less to say, now as i type, a surge of anger hit me all over.
i dislike her to the core.
the word 'hate' is too strong a word, and i will not use it. if i am to narrate the whole story, it will take 10 years to finish reading. just simply saying, who ask her to give me attitude, when there i am trying to teach her.

yes, i'm being stereotyping.
stop telling me not to stereotype people.
everyone does.
who's the saint?
tell me if you had never even once stereotype people. i want to know you then. at least you could teach me how.



sometimes i think god is being very fair to everyone.
but at the same time i couldn't help thinking about the negative.


i don't think its fair anymore.
i can't help but think that everything is not like as before.
things change too fast.
so fast, i couldn't find the time to adapt myself to it.


deep inside, i'm tired. real tired.
i wonder why i'm still putting on that strong front; that "everything will be just fine, give it some more time" front.


my mom said my personality is like the exact print of my dad. quick-tempered. and it will get me to no where. i agreed. i tried my very best to change. i did. i really did.


yes, people tend to forget the first feeling of trying out things or when they develop an interest in it.so i'm there to be the reminder.

this time i'm not being bias.
i really think its unfair.
again, i can't help thinking that what i feel/think is no longer important anymore.
a name to its shell.


i quit.
'quit' sounds irresponsible. but what else can i do when i'm tired of everything. i know i've made a wrong decision. i should have insisted. if only i did, then maybe things would have turn out differently. though tension will still exist (only to the 3 of them) but at least the harshness will be gone. And now I feel apologetic.






am i too much just by requesting everything to be fair?

Labels: 1st post of may