lost for words.

since you had decided to......
i guess for all those years that we had known each other are wasted.

its just so ironic.
i seriously am having doubts.

why should i sit there and listen to you tell me your poblems?
maybe i should have said that you are at the fault instead, not theirs.
why should made the effort to make you laugh when you are feeling troubled?
when at then end of the day,
all you could tell me was sideless.

being late

yea, i'm late for microecons tutorial today.
like for about 20 mins.


it's not my fault.
its my daddy's fault.
he went to buy breakfast for my sis and bro and me.
and he reached home excatly at 9am.
tutorial starts at 9am.
LOL!!!

however, i've got a great daddy.
cause he love, cares and dotes on us =)

being questioned by the econs tutor;
'wow! that so early.'
'i can do alot of things, i can mark you late, close one eyes, close two eyes......'
'but i decided to close one eyes and mark you present since its the 1st time.'
'so, where do you stay?'

i told her 'xxXxxxxXXx.'
she 'wah, that's like so near the school.'
'if not next time i drive you to school, since i will be passing by, then you won't be late for my tutorial.'
me -.-" but still smiled at her.
(cause my dad send me to school almost everyday. hahaha.)

nxt, was bstats tutorial.
wah! i've gotten a crazy tutor for that module.
she speaks so much like ms sawn.
she gives homework marks as our class participation marks.

i didn't do her hw leh.
and i told her a lie.
i didn't meant to lie to her.
i feel so guilty.
but juan and bel say its okay.
you need to tell her lies to save your skin. LOL!!!

Monday, October 30, 2006

anger

don't tell me that i need anger management.
cause......




i know i need it.
i need to control my anger.




what's with the f**k word?
i hate to see this word.
as i have said in the f7 blog.
i hate it so much so that i won't take this nonsense.


i take your scolding.
that's okay.
cause in the very first place, i'm in fault.
therefore, i take it.


but scolding me 'what the f*ck?!'
nah, i don't think so.
especially being scolded in front of so many people?!
double nah, the more i don't think so.
being humiliated in front of 6 people.
that's even more worst.





LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
NOT EVEN MY PARENTS SCOLD ME 'WHAT THE F*CK'!!!
SEE CLEARLY
NOT EVEN MY PARENTS.
SO DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE IN THAT POSITION TO SCOLD ME THAT F*CK WORD?!

DO YOU?

IF YOU THINK SO....
THEN I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOUR PARENTS.
FOR THEY DID NOT INDULGE IN YOU THE RIGHT EDUCATION
FOR YOU ARE A TOTAL BARBARIC
TOTAL FAILURE.


YOU WANT TO F*CK.
GO TO GEYLANG.


i have a basic limit.
once you reached it.
that's the end of everything.





hao yi ju 'mei yi chi duo shi ze yang.'
(a fine good old sentence of 'everytime also like that.')

i can't be bothered with a reply.
nonetheless, even to shout back.

simply because i don't think you are worth my effort.
i rather you take me as a guy and fight it out with me.

AND


oh ya,
i'm just so like that.
that's me.



i turned and walked off, leaving all of you standing there.
still taking in the after effect of the shockness.
just like the previous time.




yea, you might think that i'm a coward.
avoiding that current situation.
to turned and walked off.
went home for a hide.
or whatever.




but the truth is............

i don't even care.
i don't even want to have a quarrel with you.
i don't even want to waste my enegry to open my mouth and put a strain on my vocal.
i don't even want to see your irritated face.
i can't be bothered.


it's been such a letdown joining NP lion dance.
more disappointing than ever, since it happened twice.




showed me all your blackened face for all i care.
i show you mine too.
you have a bad temper.
so do i.
you come in head strong with me.
so will i; being even more head strong than you are.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

thanks to all

thanks penny who worry for me, giving me advise and helping me out.
thanks joy for listening.
thanks zhi juan for listening too.
thanks hongfang for listening too.
thanks angie for listening too.
thanks rod for telling me that a man's pride is as fragile as a woman's heart.
thanks han wei for helping out.
and
thanks all who's there to listen, make a joke out of it and make me laugh happily for the first time since school starts.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

first three days of school.

and


i'm still on holidaying mood.


i'm late for lecture on monday and wednesday.
guess these lecturers have to be use to me being late.
just like last sem the lecturers.
they were immune to my lateness.

played a webby game in the lecture theater today.
which requires 7 people with handphones that have camera and 7 threads.
luckily the threads never kana me.
if not............


i also don't know what will happened. ha! (you see i'm not really paying attention)

seems like my first three days of school were a little out of space.




some things are just too much for me to handle.
maybe i'm not mature enough to handle it properly...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

chu shi

wahahaha
i'm blogging at such early hour.

i quit my promoter job already.
seriously, i don't really like it due to many reasons.

had our very 1st chu shi today.
1st as in outside of NP.
planning abit cock-up.
no lorry, no driver.
then need back up fast fast.
so in the end lawrence drive penny dad's lorry.
but the supposed driver came in the end -.-"
so we chu two lorrys.

hahahahaha
hmmm, no comments on lawrence driving.

i'm lazy to type
so.........
let the photos do the rest of the talking then;


our breakfast

lawrence driving penny dad's lorry. wahaha

LOL! watches, hps and wallets for sale, $10 each.

on standby. oops, where's me?! =)



note his tummy...

ha! see the stuffs on the table. that's in his shirt. yucks.
photo with the VIPs.

Monday, October 09, 2006

1st day

i sold one skincare product today.
wahahaha.
happy happy.
didn't expect much, since its a new product, expensive and not many heard off.
so surprised that today taka not much people.
maybe its due to the haze.
lesser people the better.

so not in the right track today.
1st, i drop marcarsa on my skirt (white skirt somemore)
2nd, therefore was late for work.
3rd, dropped my ezlink, kind aunty help me to pick it up.
3rd, accidentally cut my knee.
4th, my skirt kana tiramisu. (skirt again!)
5th, spilled water onto my shirt.
6th, forgot to return the key to gardian, so must walked all the way back to return it.
7th, forgot to staple the receipt to the invoice, then got to call up that customer.
so not my day huh.

i saw 2 mediacorp artists.
one is belinda.
the other i don't know her name, but she never act in any show for a long time alr.

i've met both mean and kind people.
i know how the colleagues' relationship goes.
i know how the on-going politic goes. (through my observesation =))
i meet a nice promoter.

she's very nice, unlike the others.
she told me alot of things.
she told me who cannot be offended there.
she told me not to cut-sales, if not there will be trouble.
she told me don't ever be a busybody to avoid any trouble.
she told me better to bring my own pen there instead of borrowing from the others.
she told me not to believe in others working there too, even herself, cause you never know who's the hypocrite.
she keeps a look-out for me when i'm not around.
she taught me lots of promoting stuff.
basically, she's just like a mum there.
she said 'i tell you so much because i'll treat you like my daughter.' LOL!

and i've become an ah girl there.
they all call me that. -.-

therefore, i've concluded that the working indrustry is very complicated.
with lots of 'fighting' aka ming zhen an duo inside.
its scary, something that i don't like.
i don't like the backstab feeling, the hyprocrite colleagues.

i like studying now. LOL!!
i'm looking forward to school re-open.

hmmm, blogger got something wrong.
i cannot post photos.
never mind then.
1st time i not pissed or angry when i try 5 times and it still failed me =)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

random piece

it's sucky to have a brother of mine.
he's really......
i got nothing to say, totally speechless.
maybe he's undergoing the rebellious stage or whatever u call it.

my big uncle is coming back from hong kong tomorrow.
he's staying at my house for a month or maybe only few weeks.
oh no...
my house going to be so pack with people.
hmmm...
wondering what goodies he's going to bring back.

having training later on.
think i'm wasting my time even if i go, just like tues.
say to practice for the performance at suntec, but i don't even know how to beat the sleeping lion or lion sleeping.
someone said he will teach me.
but never...
don't make a promise if you know you can't fulfill it, for i hate empty promises.
though i know promises are meant to be broken.

like he hit once for me to see then i'll know how the things went.
it's frustrating that i don't know anything.
i'm just a newbie a noob, not an advancer nor a pro.
can you try to downgrade yourself to the time when you just started playing lion dance?
maybe its just too long ago that you've already forgotten the feeling of a beginner?
maybe its just too much to ask for?
sometimes i wonder if there's something wrong with me.......


to join lion dance.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

money issue?

why is it that when it comes to the term money,
people will get all sensitive about it?
even my parents are like that.

when someone ask to borrow just a few bucks,
will you lend it to that someone?
maybe you will.
and i will.

BUT

what about when that someone ask to borrow a few hundreds or few thousands bucks?
will you still lend it to that someone?
will you?
for me, now, my answer is a no.
in the future, maybe so.

sometimes i wish i am so damn rich, and i mean really filthy rich.

yaya, i know some might say money is not important/money is not everything.
money can't buy health.
money can't buy youth.
money can't buy time.
money can't buy happiness.
money can't change your fate your destiny.

since its like that then why is it that when it comes to money issue (either borrowing or whatever) people scram till like they've meet......

cause...
people tend to forget what money can't do and only remember what money can do.

come'on, wake up and face the reality.

without money you are nothing.
without money you can't survive.
without money you are just a piece of shit that people can't wait to avoid.
without money your family might just break up.
without money your family will end up quarrelling.
without money you never have your peace.
without money you can never survive in this world.

don't just say without money.
even with little money, the facts still remain.

okay, i don't know what i'm typing.
i'm just pissed, angry, sad or whatever. anything but happy.