An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

children

children are forever so innocent.
children are forever happy.
children never have to be a hypocrite.
children don't tell lies.
children make mistake but are being forgiven easily.
children play like there's no tomorrow.
children are noisy, but that's what cute about them.
children are so bubbly.
children cry as and when they like.
children put a smile on our faces.
children can talk to anyone, even strangers.
children smile at everybody who treats them nicely.
children make friends easily.
children trust everyone.
children have no worries.
children become a monster when they cry, but so what.
children are forgiven once they stop being a monster.
children are being praise by every little achievement they made.
children share their goodies around.
children don't care whether they are fat thin pretty handsome ugly.
children will press their face on those squarish shape of the fence when they see you leaving.

and
adults only remember the goodness in that child, not their wilfulness.

some news dropped on me like a bombshell a few days ago.
i was totally unprepared.
i was stun for a few seconds.
standing there with my mouth hanging open.
i don't know how to react.
it's not within my control.
there's nothing i could do to help.

all i can say is time waits for no one.
the wind will continue to blow.
the sun will continue to rise.
the tide will continue to hit the shore.
all these won't stop just because i'm feeling down or whatever.

sometimes i wish i never grew up.
sometimes i wish i'm still a 3 years old, with no fears nor worries.
sometimes i wish i have no worries.
sometimes i wish i don't have to fake a smile at someone i don't like.
just like a little kid.

just now as i played with my nieces and nephews,
i'm being myself.
i laughed happily along with them.
i've came to realise that children can make us feel innocent.

when i was young, all i know was:

when i'm full, i'm content.
when my mummy and daddy loves me, i'm content.
when i have friends to play with, i'm content.
when it stops raining on a rainy day and i can go out and play, i'm content.

and
my parents taught me something new everyday.
only that i didn't realised it.
under their teaching,
i know how to first crawl then walk.
i know how to speak.
i know my table manners and manners.
i know how to feed myself.
i know how to bathe.
i know how to fend for myself.
i know the proper way of holding the chopstick.
i know how to read and write.
i know that i need to use my right hand for writing and not the left, if not my mummy will hit my hand.
i know that i need to go school when i'm 4 years old.
i know that i need to make lots of friends in school so that i won't be left in the corner.
i know how to use a net or a fishing rod to catch crabs and prawns and fishes at changi beach and not to get impatient or make any noise to scare them away.
i know how to search for clams by digging into the sand on the lower part of the beach.
i know how to swim.
i know how to take eggs and prevent the chickens from peaking at my fingers.
i know how to climb up to the top of see-saw and balance myself.
i know how to fire fire-crackers(in malaysia) and quickly throw it away to prevent myself from getting hurt.
i know i must get good grades in my studies cause all my cousins are either from the top junior collages or top secondary schools.
blahblahblah, the list goes on.

when i was young,
toys were shared between my best buddy.
all sorts of goodies were shared between us.
secret was exchanged, and later forgot about it.
secrets that never leak out. or else it will go like this 'if you tell anybody, i won't friend you, i won't share my cookies with you.'

however, as i grow up
silence took over.
things changed.
i've changed.
i came to differentiate myself among the others.
i become more selfish.

i must say humans are selfish.
which is why nobody is perfect.
there are people who are close to perfect but never perfect.

i become more selfish in giving others praise.
i mind being the bud of the jokes of others.
maybe that's why i learn to be more tactful with how i express myself.

asked yourself these:
when is the last time you received praises?
when is the last time you praised somebody?
when is the last time you played like there's no tomorrow?
when is the last time you trust someone wholeheartedly with your secrets?
and
since when had you become a hypocrite?

why can't we be like what we were when we were young.
i don't have to be anyone but myself.
like in kindergarten, stepping into the school without knowing anyone.
nobody knows who you are.
but the next minute, you found yourself playing with that someone and enjoying the life of your time like he/she is your best friend.
why is there no forever, like never never land.

i remember clearly when i was young.
the first time i've been wrongly accused.
i was forced to say sorry. i hate it.
so i've asked 'why is there no fairness in the world?'
my daddy told me this 'take a look at your fingers and toes, are they of equal length.'
and i looked.
nope they ain't of equal length.
that's why there ain't fairness in the world.
so i looked at it everyday and wait for the day when all the fingers and toes are of equal length.
but it never happened.

my journey blogged @ 4:13 PM